2024/06. Nothing

Guilt trap
Kindness trap
Attachment trap
Yellow voice trap
Ego driven trap
Hardcore trap
Gender trap
Sexist trap
Racist trap
Beauty trap
Politics trap
Healing trap
Security trap
Money trap
Sorry trap
Compliment trap
Entertainment trap
Grandiosity trap
Traps everywhere
Extreme dualism trap
Repetitive shits on repetitive shits.
Don’t be fucking short-sighted.
Cut - Attach - Cut
Zum beispiel, Sorry - Thank you - Sorry
Deswegen. Death gegen. Gegen Tod.
Anatomy of psychological attachments
2024/05. Everything

You are hearing us.
You don’t understand.
You are scary.
You are cute.
You are unbelievable.
You are cool.
That Asian is everything.
I’m sorry.
Who is he?
Very cool.
He is good.
Super cool.
Who the fuck is he?
It’s enough.
Are you the Alice?
Yes, I am.
Do not vocalize it.
It is not to say but to be.
Enough, enough.
What the fuck is that?
You are great.
I modestly hope so.
Alice - Allis - Alles

2024/05. Nichts

A black crow flew from right to left almost perfectly horizontally.
The trees moved from left to right gradually like a wave of the ocean.
No, this is not silence science. What’s next?
Siren once, silence.
Voice、 silence.
Voices, background noise.
Compliments, silence.
I have been ignoring it, excuse me.
I do know and I do not.
Another silence science.
Observe, analyze, dots - lines, assumptions, tests, conclusion - truth.
Fuck off, it didn’t sound you meant it.
I do love you for that.
Now, the kitchen started to make noises.
Excuse me for the shift of the energy field I triggered.
I am what I am.
Alles Gute.
2024/05. Alles

Beelzebub, give me enough power to go through this shit. I'm ready to take the pain according to the contract.
Leben für alles, was ich brauche. Tod für alles, was ich nicht brauche.
Birth to everything I need. Death to everything I don't need.
This will kill you spiritually unless you commit mental suicide.
Alles und nichts.
Not everything or nothing, but everything and nothing.
Ist alles okay?
Alles gut.
My head still sometimes hurts but I'm feeling rather peaceful.
Blessing to all.
Segen für alle.

2023. Random Diaries

白の大鷲 王の玉座
白の大蛇 王妃の笑み
隠者の智徳 賢者の智慧

White eagle King's throne
Green diamond
White serpent Queen's smile
Emerald diamond
Wisdom of the hermits Wisdom of the wise
Music called magic
気怠く甘美な気配 快い怖さの廻廊

A carpet of mandalas spreading in the dark twilight
A random timeline of past, present and future
Like a Cubist painting, all of them are folded on top of each other
A wonder that none of them has a clear expression
A languid and sweet air A corridor of pleasant fear


Five senses that are just a little crazy
The hole of laziness that falls without restraint
The rainbow colours reflected on the prism
The breathing of others that appears in the middle of the night
Where is this place


Mass torsion
Threshold opening
Chance induction


A figure that is burned into my memory
without a few incapacitating tears
The frustration of ruminating 
The farthest reaches of decadence
The body inspired by the life apparatus  
Thoughts of a void that spreads without a strait

2023. Music is the Best


2021. A Way To The Musical Elixir

Thoughts, of a a person who (extremely personally) continued to challenge to produce musical medicine / prescription that could cure so-called (especially mental) illnesses, caught me quite clearly. What is this? hehe

所謂(とりわけ精神的な)病を治癒し得る処方箋、又は薬の生成を(極個人的に)音楽的に試み続けている人、という思考・思想が、かなり明確に僕を捉えたのだけど、何だろう、これ。 :)

2021. A Package of The All

Ich würde gerne alles in dieser Welt (was ich wahrnehmen kann) in die Musik stopfen.
I am to stuff everything in this world (which I am able to perceive) into the music.

2020. My Modest Hope (?)

I exist here / You exist there.
You exist here / I exist there.

Without knowing your existence, how can you exist in me?
Without knowing my existence, how can I exist in you?

I'm happy to know your existence.
I (very modestly) hope? that you are, also.

私は此処に存在します / 貴方は其処に存在します。
貴方は此処に存在します / 私は其処に存在します。



2020. Autechre’s SIGN

The Autechre live I saw at the Glade Festival in the UK in 2006 was the best live I have ever come across in my whole life, and it was a set of four Elektrons based on “Untilted” which was released in the previous year. I write this fact first.

I think the “SIGN” is a complete failure. The ideology of the alias Autechre (for certain while), I personally understood, is that they have been in the pursuit of abundant complexity (after applying through the sensibilities and aesthetics of the two), which has been extremely information-overload-esque and continued to reject and transcend the (hardcore) listener's analysis. In this regard, I do not think the “SIGN” has much of such impressions. However, the fact that the essence of the problem I am feeling is not this point, seems very serious... I cannot see what they were aiming for. Rather, they probably made it very natural to their senses. The essence of the problem is here. Quite clearly, I feel that this level of music is already overflowing everywhere. With each release of Autehcre, the new territory of electronic music was further expanded, and the stimulating sensation of marking the alias Autechre into the undeveloped regions faded its presence. If music of Autechre does not have this innovative feel, what could possibly remain after? Isn't there anything left...? Now that only the name Autechre has surpassed the value of the actual musical output, the only thing I have in mind is what they wanted to say / convey with the title “SIGN”. This question has been spinning around in my head.

2006年にイギリスのGlade Festivalで見たAutechreのライブが、僕が人生で今迄に経験した最高のライブであり、前年にリリースされたUntiltedを軸としたElektron計4台でのセットだった事を鮮明に記憶している、事を先に書いておきます。


2020. Vertical Lines / Horizontal Lines

When the teacher drew a rectangle shape on the blackboard in an elementary school math class and asked, "Do you know which ones are the vertical and horizontal lines?", all immediately answered that two lines located in horizontal positions vertically are the "vertical lines" and the other two lines located in vertical positions horizontally are the "horizontal lines". It was initially very difficult for me to understand and I almost started hating math because of this experience.


2020.  Self-Notes for the Album “Decoded Sphere”

When we perceive this world through each of our filters (or rather, we tend only to recognise it that way), it is within such a worldview that emerges. This album was named Decoded Sphere with the meaning of "a representation of the world seen through coloured eyeglasses." It can feel very obvious when you reflect upon it. You can often be overwhelmed by the fact that there are different worlds as many as the world's population.

I have been very attracted to music that can be listened to easily, and whilst has an infiniteness within the structure that reveals itself when we concentrate to listen. For example, in the Bible, there is a layer that functions as a story, and another layer that can be overwhelmingly deeply interpreted if read by an earnest person like Luther. I am very interested in making music with such a pyramid structure.

To talk about the time structure a little, all songs are in 6/4. In many cases, the rhythm elements are constructed with "6/4 x 2" and the melody elements with "8/8 x 3".

It's not my intention that the words I'm writing now work to keep my thoughts "here". Rather, it is my intention that words take off from "here" and function so as to bring out new meanings, interpretations, and the worlds.

Finally, to quote Ionesco's word, "let the words say what the word never meant before." I want this album to work that way.

この世界を僕達が各々のフィルターを通して知覚する時(というか、その様にしか認識出来ないのだけど)、浮かび上がってくるのがそれぞれの世界観で。このアルバムは「各々の色眼鏡を通して見えている世界の表象」という意味合いを込めて、Decoded Sphereと名付けました。非常に当たり前の事実なのだけど、ふとした時に俯瞰して思考してみると、人口の数だけ別の世界が存在する、という事実の森羅万象具合に圧倒される事が多々あって。


時間構造の話を少しだけしてみると、収録曲は全て拍子が6/4になっていて。多くの場合リズム要素を「6/4 x 2」で展開させて、メロディ要素を「8/8 x 3」で展開させていて。



2019.   Kukangendai at Ausland, Berlin



Thank you, 空間現代.

2018.   Creation

Recently, I have been thinking a couple of times unexpectedly, "If the creator of this world created this world for human beings, why did you create a world that can not be perceived by ordinary senses?". It seems that the overwhelmingly occupied proportion of this imperceptible world is large, and if the world where 100% of the world's events can be sensed by humans, "creation" itself will not be created in this world I ended up thinking. At present, my thinking seems to be calming down, saying that "the Creator wants people to be like the Creator and thus created a world that can not be perceived."


2018. Deutsch


2015. Venus In Mocha Coloured Furs

A scar you made on my hand disappeared on that day. It seems to be a mere coincidence.

She behaves / appears like a cat. You weren't so when you were little. She became a part of a family by a sheer coincidence. Until the very end, you seem to have kept a pride as a woman. Last few days, she showed me an aspect of "life", strangely realistic, many people might see it as "ominous", but I didn't feel so. You just looked / I just felt like your spirit was eager to live beyond the decline of your body / flesh. She taught me the very essence of "life". You taught me a pride as individual to be retained. Your last appearance, as such a noble individual, was highly beautiful. I'd remember it often surely. It was very nice to meet you. When I see you again, let's go for a walk together. I'd be happy to listen to your selfish requests if there is. Rest in calm peace for now. I will see you later.


猫の様な振る舞い/佇まいで。若い時はそうでは無かったのだけど。ひょんな事から家族の一員になる事が決まった子で。最期まで女性としての誇りを守り続けた様に思えた。最期の数日、その様相は「生」という妙にリアルで、ある種多くの人に「禍々しいモノ」として見えるかもしれない側面を垣間見せる事になったのだけど、僕にはそうは思えなかった。精神が身体 / 肉体の衰えを超えてでも生きようとしている様にしか見えなかったし、感じなかった。「生」という本質そのものを彼女は僕に教えてくれた。守るべき個としての誇りも教えてくれた。そんな気高い彼女の最期の姿はとても美しかったし、きっと今からも度々あの姿を思い出す事になると思う。本当に出会えて良かった。今度また会う事があったら一緒に散歩しよう、ワガママにも喜んで付き合うから。だから今は安らかに、また会う時まで。

2015.  Time Art

I would still feel inappropriate when things are perceived, understood and concluded piecemeal and superficially. Fluidity / versatility / multi-layers - a depth produced by those elements. I feel that it surely exists. For example, when we enjoy the music - time art, I do think we apply "time sequence" as a measure and perceive it. If this "time sequence" was applied beyond the framework of music, existing (fixed) ideas would be expanded. In other words, human history, world history and lives of every individuals could actually be interpreted as time art. Every timelines you have been involved (not meaning in a SNS way) will be collected as part of your time art - you have been creating through your life. I assume I am (to some extent) sensitive to the "time sequence" however, I seem not to have understood this concept until now.. (Thinking this in a painter way, for instance) we are all given a white canvas called the time and each of us are painting on it in various ways. "All phenomena / events are time arty. All human beings are time artist." I don't know why I thought in this way but It feels pretty right to me.

物事を断片的 / 表層的に受け取って理解 / 断定する事にはやっぱり違和感を覚えます。流動性 / 多面性 / 多層性 - それらの要素が生み出す奥行き(と呼び得る何か)が確実に存在していると感じるので。例えば、音楽 - 時間芸術を享受する際に僕らは「時間のシーケンス」を物差しとして作品と対面すると思うのですが、この「時間のシーケンス」を音楽という枠を超えて適用すれば既存の(固定)観念を拡げられるのでは?と。つまり、今迄の人類史とか歴史とか個々の人間の一生とか、全て時間芸術に成り得るし、関わった全てのタイムライン(SNS的な意味合いでは無く)がその人の一生を通して表現される時間芸術に回収されていく、という。「時間のシーケンス」にある程度敏感である筈なのにこの事を今になってやっと理解した様な。。画家的に考えれば、時間という真っ白のキャンバスが与えられていて、それぞれの人間が色々な絵を描いている、という。「全ての事象が時間芸術的で、全ての人間が時間芸術家である」と何故だか分かりませんがふと考えて、結構しっくり来ています。

2015. To The Madly Beautiful World To Death

For instance, from when you were little, I guess everyone has had a sense of incongruity to certain extent. It appears to be impossible to judge whether I'm crazy or this world is. Accelerated sensibility seems to rather expose a decisive break between me and the way the world is. However, in order to go forward, taking one firm step at a time must be noble. For example, even if you confront yourself with such a world, who can deny the way you decided to be, live, exist and the path you have endeavoured to discover? I wish I could rather enjoy a contradiction but I'm not born in such a way.

There are variety of people sitting in the direction we call the past, when we catch the concept of time linearly. To mention six, Leonard Da Vinci, Eugène Ionesco, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Novalis, Shusaku Arakawa and Michael Ende. There's a feel in myself that what they have left have certain influences on the way I am now. My gratitude to the way they were.


時間の概念を直線的に捉えた時に僕らが過去と呼んでいる方向に色んな人達が居る。仮に六人挙げるとすれば、レオナルド ダ ヴィンチ、ウジェーヌ イヨネスコ、ヨハン ヴォルフガング フォン ゲーテ、ノヴァーリス、荒川修作、ミヒャエル エンデ。彼らが残してくれたものが今の自分の在り方に響いている事は確かな感触として存在していて。そんな彼らの在り方に感謝の意を表して。

2015. Giselle

Giselle came into view silently, with a strained look, from behind the cross of the grave. She stepped into the stage little by little, unhurriedly and steadily. I remember her appearance was as totally melted into time and space at that point.

Giselle crossing the stage diagonally, audience applauded.

It was that moment my conscious was totally drowned and went away from me - the lift in the middle of the show. Giselle flew in the air as if her entire body was dislocated. Floating stature, at that moment and exact place, as earth's gravity was not valid and a door to the another dimension was opened. Ephemeral as a ghost, elegant as a bird's feather and the preciousness of Giselle's fate that allows her to perform all those astonishing motions as if she was easily stepping into the zone beyond the human physicality. 

This world is still full of buds of unknown excitements.





2008. Table of Contents (Thesis)

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2008. Dissertation

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